I can't hear what you are saying because your actions are too loud

None of us is 100% the person we claim to be and think we are. That’s just a fact of being human. It’s always very fascinating to me to connect the dots and decipher the codes of what people want us to think they are, who they think they are, who they really are, and what they want. And how do I do that? Asking questions, studying the responses, and observing the behaviors. Of course there are a lot more details and complexity regarding people reading and communication, I can’t cover them all here, so just bring up some of the most common and major guidelines I have noticed and find useful.

People like to talk about themselves.
I like to ask questions. Have you played Twenty Questions? I love the game, and am confident to say I am pretty good at it. It’s an art and science to ask the right questions. You need to have a fairly clear framework in your head before asking questions, and based on the answers, start to narrow it down and finally cut to the core. It’s the same when converse with people. People love talking about themselves, and by asking the right questions, you can get a sense of what type of person they are, and have a pretty good idea about what they want you to think they are.

People ask the questions they want you to ask.
People usually don’t ask questions which are out of their comfort zone. If they like to stay in and read books, most likely they won’t ask you about outdoor sports or awesome party spots. If they are workaholic, they would ask you questions about your job and career. Based on the type of questions people ask, you can get a decent sense of what they care about and focus on in their lives. It kind of reveals who they think they are.

People want to be treated the way they treat you.
Understand that the way a person treats you is generally a huge indication of how he or she wants to be treated in return. Constant flattery is flattering, but a person who does this believes your need it. Why? Because he or she needs it and can’t see the world from anyone else’s perspective. Have you had a micro-managing boss before? If yes, it’s pretty much explains it, isn’t it? They want you to micro-manage up and constantly keep them posted. Same logic applies to dating. If a guy or girl doesn’t call you back, it means they want you to stop calling them, be out of their lives. So stop analyzing this and that when you don’t get a call from your date, it’s just this simple. So how people treat you is an indication of what they want from you.

Looking at their friends and families tells you who they are.
When a character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends. Want to know how your girl will turn out in 30 years? Look at her mother. Birds of a feather flock together. I personally like to see how people treat waiter/waitress, socialize with their coworkers, and especially interact with close friends and families. It’s interesting to see how people change in different settings and fascinating to discover someone who is genuinely real.